£150.00 – And You Have A Chance To Win A Porsche

They always say Boltonian’s do things differently to anyone else in the world.

See, normally in a raffle the top prize is something crap like a teddy bear or, if you’re lucky, a bottle of wine that hasn’t actually been opened yet.

In a raffle to be held in Bolton however, the top prize is a Porsche worth an estimated 7K.

The only catch is that the tickets are going for £150 each, and there are only 49 of them.

Whoever wins the Porsche also gets their £150 back.

The balmy idea that could surely have only originated in Peter Kay Country was conceived after Andi Love bought his wife a 4.5-litre Porsche Cayenne S for his wife, only for her to say it was way too fast.

“When me and my wife first got married 15 years ago,” explained Mr Love, “she said she wanted me to buy her a Porsche one day. Back then I couldn’t even afford a Mini.”

Andi Love eventually became a success and was able to afford the Porsche his wife said she wanted.

Despite her initial excitement and enjoyment, it was when she took it on the motorway that she realised it was too powerful for her.

Love considered flogging the Porsche the normal way, but has been put off by tyre-kickers and dealers who are undervaluing it. So he came up with the rather novel idea of a raffle instead.

The Porsche Cayenne S is 11 years old and has clocked 150,000 miles.

2 people have bought a raffle ticket so far. Now is your chance.

American’s Hate Fiat

So it turned out this week that not only is Fiat incapable of boosting sales of its Fiat brand, but its Fiat is also the slowest selling vehicle in the U.S.

The alacrity at which cars sell (or don’t sell) in America is based on a so-called “days to turn” yardstick, which according to Auto research guys Edmunds is: “The average number of days vehicles were in dealer inventory before being sold during the months indicated.”

Fiat came last.

Their days to turn were just 107, which is far beyond the industry average of 63.

Put it this way, it’s comparable to a golfer being so over par that he is banned from the clubhouse.

Fiat is doing badly across the pond, and June sales fell to 30%. Sales for the first half of the year have also been measly, dropping to 21,789.

Worse still for Fiat, they came last in the J.D Power U.S Vehicle Dependability Study, with 272 problems per 100 cars sold cited.

The industry average is 147. Uh-oh. Bad times for Fiat.

And as if things couldn’t get any worse, the new UK Overlord of automotive reviews Chris Evans gave a scathing review of the revised Fiat 500X, in which he said he “loathed it.”

American’s though, do like their Subaru’s, with the Japanese brand recording to a days to turn record of 22. Toyota recorded 40, whilst Audi and Honda were tied on 46.

UK Government To Splash The Cash On Driverless Cars

The UK government is ready to award £20m to whoever can prove they have the most aptitude and innovation for developing top driverless cars that will take the country’s aspirational citizens onto the next level.

A competition will be held to separate the wheat from the chaff in a market that it is thought will be worth a mega £900b by 2025.

Anyone looking to take part in the competition will need to prove they have the awareness to create vehicles that will be able to handle sharing the road with Protons, the surrounding environment, moments of road rage, as well as other issues including carjacking’s and drunk football fans.

“The carjacking thing is a big issue,” said a source. “The last thing you want is to be caught unaware as you’re napping in the back of the car only to wake up in another country with some random at the wheel.”

Whoever has the best proposal will get their hands on £20m, which will be used to develop their autonomous vehicles.

It is hoped the cash will make Britain the number one hotspot for testing autonomous cars.

Business secretary Sajid Javid had this to say: “To boost productivity Britain will need to capitalise on new technologies like driverless vehicles, securing high skilled jobs for those who want to work hard and get on, and contributing to a more prosperous future for the whole of the country.”

The competition has sparked interest around the UK, with two geezers from Essex we spoke to saying they were off to the pub to draw up some plans.

“Can’t wait mate. It’s gonna be mega, we’re having it large.”

When we asked them how they would counter the threat of carjacking’s, they said they would “fix the car with a rape alarm.”

Hijackers Remotely Hack A Jeep

You know how it is. You’re cruising along the motorway in your 4×4, listening to some of your favourite tunes and life is good.

Then suddenly the volume of the music surges, the windshield wipers start up without warning, and eventually the transmission is cut dead.

What on earth is going on?!

Engine failure? George Osbourne? Aliens??


If you drive a Fiat, the answer might be that you’ve been hacked.

Sounds far-fetched, right? Well, earlier this week security researchers Charlie Miller and Chris Valasek exposed a major security flaw in new Fiat models when they deliberately hacked the vehicle driven by “guinea pig” driver Andy Greenberg.

Strapped into a Jeep and cruising along an American highway, Greenberg knew something was wrong when his accelerator stopped working.

As he tried to press the pedal to get the car moving, the Jeep was losing half it’s speed.

Then it slowed right down to a crawl.

He knew that Miller and Valasek were hacking his Jeep remotely from 10 miles away, but as he reached a long overpass, he started to get scared.

“There was no shoulder to offer an escape. The experiment had ceased to be fun.”

There was worse to come, as the merciless hackers took over the brakes and sent the car careering into a ditch.

They then exploded it, engulfing Greenberg in flames.

Okay we kid. They spared him.

Miller and Valasek exploited a piece of software called Uconnect, which manages everything from a Chrysler’s navigation system to its Wi-Fi hotspot.

It was the cellular connection that allowed the hackers to get in, and anyone who knows the vehicles IP address can take over the car.

The hackers informed Fiat about the flaw a few months ago, but buyers have to manually download an updated version of the software to guard against attacks.

One buyer we spoke to was in a bullish mood and said he wouldn’t be downloading nothin’. “No goddamn hacker son of a bitch is going to get the best of me.”

Then he cocked his gun.

Ford Night-Vision Lighting System Will Detect Pedestrians

If you’re the kind of driver who gets nervous about driving down winding country lanes at night in case you run over a pedestrian or two, the news that Ford are developing innovative lighting technology to automatically detect pedestrians at night will be music to your ears.

We’ve all been there, driving along at night until jumping out of our skins as a wandering pedestrian suddenly waltzes in front of us. It’s a terrifying experience that may be a thing of the past.

Ford have been working on the technology that will use an infrared camera attached to the front of a car which will detect the heat emitted from pedestrians, as well as animals, cyclists and Paul Gascoigne.

Once a moving object has been detected, a spotlight shines on them.

Ken Washington, Ford’s vice president of research and advanced engineering, said: “Many people who drive at night have had to quickly react to someone or something suddenly appearing in the road – as if from no where.”

Ford claim the technology can detect up to eight potential hazards at any one time. The two most dangerous hazards are highlighted to the driver via an in-car screen.

If the colour is Yellow, the risk is deemed to be moderate but not life-threatening.

If Red is flagged up, the driver should take it to mean that a head-on collision and even death is likely unless you take immediate action.

Michael Koherr, Ford’s lighting research engineer said: “Spot lighting makes potential hazards in the road ahead more easily visible to the driver, whether that is a pedestrian, a cyclist, or even a large animal.”

We like the sound of it, and reckon it sounds far less creepy than Jaguar’s novel method of improving a driver’s environmental awareness; in their system, something “taps drivers on the shoulder” whenever a cyclist is nearby.

Quite what does the tapping, we’re not sure, but rumours have suggested dwarves in the back of your car.

Will Titterington
  • 27th July 2015

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