Man Expecting Twins Gets Upset Because He Has To Sell His Car
When your wife tells you she’s pregnant, it’s supposed to be the happiest day of your life.
But for father-of-two Andi Love, from Manchester, the moment his wife told him she is expecting twins proved to be bittersweet.
In fact, it turned out to be the worst thing that could ever happen to him and he was left cursing his “soldiers” for hitting “two prime targets.”
Naturally, he felt a bit miffed by this.
So he took to eBay to post a rather emotive ad that tugged at so many heartstrings it went viral.
Mr Love, whose two kids are soon about to double into four, owns a slick VW Golf. As you can imagine, such a hot-hatch is too small to accommodate him, his wife and four little ones.
He could try and squeeze ‘em all in there, but that would be a bit dangerous.
It might look funny, though.
But, sadly, Mr Love couldn’t be convinced. On his eBay listing, he was surprisingly candid and dismissed any pretences of privacy when he wrote about a dismal birthday: “Yep that’s right ‘birthday treat weekend’ has turned into the wife getting knocked up.”
“This stunning one off beauty took me a lot of time, even more money and more effort to get where she is … all gone in 2 minutes!”
But surely there’s room for one more little one in the back, Andi?
“Oh yes there is,” said Andi, “but my soldiers must have misunderstood their mission objective and only went and invaded two, yes that’s right TWO prime targets
Those bloody soldiers.
But, come on, you were happy, though?
“At the scan the nurse is like congratulations it’s twins,” explained Andi. “All I’m thinking is I’m gonna end up with a Picasso.”
Hey, we know where you can get a Picasso on finance, Andi.
Mr Love eventually accepted his situation by the end of his ad, and grew rather philosophical as he explained that he has “accepted the fact that with 4 kids including twins all under 6 i’m not going to be able to own a car like this (the VW) for at least 20 years it’s people carriers all the way and I’ll probably be dead by then with all these kids.”
Death by too many kids. What a hero. At least he did it for the future of mankind.
Picasso Wins Big At What Car? Awards
Okay, so a certain Andi Love might not be too keen on the Citroen Picasso, but it’s proved to be hugely popular with consumer car magazine What Car? as last night the C3 Picasso people-carrier waltzed away with the Best Buy Award.
The What Car? awards are always hugely anticipated by buyers and car manufacturers alike, as the magazine is a trusted source when it comes to the general public choosing their car. The testers use 16 core test criteria to help them reach a decision, with analysis of ownership costs and independent emissions testing among the criteria.
The Audi A4 Saloon scooped the most coveted prize of all, winning the Car Of The Year award. The car has variously been described as “the best version of this model yet,” while What Car? themselves said that “no rival comes close to the A4 for interior quality of cruising refinement.”
As usual, there were big wins for the ever impressive Skoda, with the classy automotive giants scooping gongs for Best Small Car, Best Family Car and Best Estate Car. They also bagged six price point victories, ensuring that yet again Skoda doesn’t walk away without any silverware. The only slight disappointment is that they couldn’t win a successive Car of the Year trophy, with the Fabia knocked off its perch by the aforementioned Audi A4.
There was also an impressive hat trick for the Ford Fiesta, while Hyundai pulled off a double victory, including Best City car for the Hyundai i10.
Seat Leon held onto Best Buy Coupe for the third year running. The sporty dynamo, which costs less than £25,000, continues to be a hit with consumers, thanks to its mix of style, practicality and drivability.
Meanwhile, the car consumers are most looking forward to in 2016 is the Alfa Romeo Giulia.
But perhaps the most surprising news of the night was that Volkswagen Group managed to win eight of the 19 “best buy” awards. The controversy-plagued automotive behemoth had a dreadful end to 2015, but can at least say that 2016 has already started a little brighter.
Jim Holder of What Car? explained: “When we began the judging process, the VW emissions scandal was in full swing. However, our guiding principle is to recommend the best cars on sale today. We have tested all our cars with unrivalled rigour and scrutiny on a level playing field with all their rivals.
“Regardless of the scandal, the VW Group still builds cars that rank among the very best on the road.”
It was a day for celebration and surprises as the Detroit auto show got off to a pearler on Monday.
Although the first week is reserved for the media only, there was plenty to whet the public’s appetite.
The Ford Motor Company kicked things off by announcing that it will be carrying out its debut self-driving vehicles tests – in the snow!
See, while other “chicken” automakers – and Google – have tested out the technology in pristine, sunny conditions, Ford have decided to be a bit more authentic.
After all, we all drive in the snow, right?
Jim McBride of Ford said: “It’s one thing for a car to drive itself in perfect weather, but quite another to do so when the car’s sensors can’t see the road.”
Ford will test their vehicles in inclement conditions in Michigan.
Other announcements at the Detroit auto show included the unveiling of a new Ford Chrysler minivan, which is the result of $2billion worth of investment.
The new minivan will replace the current Dodge Grand Caravan, and will go on sale in 2017.
Meanwhile, celebrations at the event included the news that the Honda Civic was crowned the 2016 North American Car of the Year, while the highly-rated Volvo XC90 scooped the Truck Vehicle of the Year award.
There was also time for Mercedes to launch its brand new E Class.
Derek Zoolander Appears In Fiat TV Advert
Fiat Chrysler are not ones to miss a trick, and have hired Ben Stiller to star in a new ad for their Fiat 500X as his hapless big-screen character Derek Zoolander.
The ad debuted during the Golden Globe Awards on Sunday and arrives just a month before Zoolander 2 is released.
In the ad, the dim-witted model stops numerous times to pose for a red light camera.
The ad is a collaboration between Paramount Pictures and Fiat, and is just the latest in a line of Hollywood deals struck by the automotive giants.
Fiat Chrysler have entered into big entertainment partnerships with Star Wars and Hunger Games in recent years.
Unlike both those movies, though, Zoolander actually contains cars.
“We had already struck a deal with Star Wars,” said an unnamed source, “before someone said ‘wait a minute … isn’t Star Wars all about spaceships?’ We asked George Lucas if he fancied including a Fiat in the latest movie but we were given a frosty response. Apparently Hans Solo is too good for Fiats. Jackass, if you ask me.”
So it makes a lot of sense that Fiat are now working with Zoolander.
FCP say that the car is part of the movie, so when the movie is watched, it can only do good things for the car.
“Derek Zoolander is super distinctive, sexy, trendy and fun,” said Fiat.
No one has the heart to tell them that he’s also an idiot.
Especially not after the Star Wars cock-up.
Although the ad which ran in the Golden Globes is a minute in length, an edited 30-second version will be released into regular rotation.
Fiat have described it as a mini movie, as opposed to a regular ad.
Blimey, boring boring Volvo really are getting all techy on us at the moment.
Just last week, OSV revealed how the safest, most predictable automotive company in the world was changing the way we perceive them by implementing AI in its autonomous vehicles.
This week, the Swedish car manufacture revealed a hi-tech remote car control function that has been produced in collaboration with Microsoft.
Motorists will soon be able to operate the brand’s Call app on Microsoft’s Band 2 smartwatch using just their voices – no hands needed.
The software was first revealed in Las Vegas at the Consumer Electronics Show, and allows you to control a Volvo’s heating, central locking, navigation, headlamps and horn with your voice.
OSV has received no confirmation regarding whether singing to your Volvo will have any effect.
On Call is not the first automotive tech project that Volvo has made in collaboration with Microsoft. As revealed on these pages a few weeks ago, the two companies have also worked on a rather wacky-sounding hologram car showroom.
The smartwatch, though, sounds far more viable and functional, and is expected to be available here in the UK from April onwards with prices set at £199.99.
What next for Volvo? A flying car, perhaps?
He believes that words can take on a transformative aspect and wants to help people make better decisions today.
His influences as a writer include Hunter S Thompson and Jack Kerouac, while among his interests outside writing are music, art, foreign films and football.
He’d one day like to own a Tesla, and still holds a candle for the Ford Capri.
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