Optional extras are always something to think about when you get a new car. Privacy glass, reversing cameras, park assist, the list of optional extras is endless. Most of the time, these optional extras are super convenient and will make your driving experience easier/safer/more enjoyable.
But there are some optional extras that are completely ridiculous. So here are our most ridiculous optional extras you probably won’t want to buy for your car.
Disclaimer: Some of these choices are for cars that are upwards of 150k as a minimum. It’s safe to say 99% of the people who are reading this right now are unlikely to be purchasing one of those cars, but that doesn’t mean we can’t laugh at those rich people that will be for this stuff. Prices are correct at the time of writing.
Fiat 500 – Make Up Holder – £52.92
For a bargain £52.92 (INCLUDING VAT – How generous!) you get a “stylish” leather make-up holder for all you make-up wearing multitaskers. For whenever you’re feeling the need to lather on the lipstick as you’re cruising along the motorway…totally makes sense and is not at all a terribly pointless idea.
You could, of course, invest that money into buying a cheaper make-up pouch and use the rest for literally anything else.
Any Inbuilt Satnav Option – £500+
Nowadays you can buy a satnav for £150 with lifetime updates, or even use your phone for the price of a car adapted charging cable. So why spend upwards of £500 on something else?
Fiat 500L – Lavazza 500 Espresso Machine – £169
Have you ever been so dang thirsty while driving and been nowhere near any possible place which may supply your much needed espresso? No? Well have I got the accessory for you. And for a steal at £169 for a sip of warm coffee in your car every morning! So long as it’s stationary and running for at least 2 minutes.
You get a few Lavazza pods to start with, but then you need to supply your own water and subsequent pods after they’ve run out. You may save yourself a big of cash if you’re a heavy motorway coffee drinker in the long run though.
If you don’t make a habit of buying coffee from dingy motor stations and only need it for a morning pick me up, it could be argued you can make your own coffee in the comfort of your home for those 2 minutes. Then you get to put it into a travel cup and then start your commute without having to run your motor for your cup o’ joe. But hey, that’s just me.
Vauxhall Adam – Stars Illuminated Headliner – £335
So you know when you were a kid and your parents were driving at night, and you’d be using your phone or some kind of game that illuminated some form of light and your parents would tell you to stop as it’s distracting to their driving? Have that 24/7 with the Stars Illuminated headliner with the Vauxhall Adam.
Mercedes E-Class and S-Class – Heated Armrests – £530
Y’know… For those days when your elbows just won’t heat up on their own. £530 well spent.
Porsche 911 Carrera S – Leather Trimmed Air Vents – £830
Technically this is the “Extended Interior package Dashboard Trim in Leather”. What you get for the small sum of £830, in addition to your already hefty price tag of £76.5k is; Dashboard end trim, windscreen defroster panel, instrument surround upper section, side defroster vents centre dashboard upper section trim in interior colour smooth-finish leather with partial decorative stitching. Fancy. Just don’t turn on your heater too hot or else you might not enjoy the subtle burning smell…
Jaguar F-Pace – Keyless Bracelet. Comes with sporting pack at £878
If you enjoy going out and about but don’t want those pesky keys jingling in your pocket then upgrade your £35kish car to the sport level trim and get yourself a microchip in a bracelet.
Not only will you never have to worry about your keys poking you anymore, but you also get a super stylish accessory to look like the cool kid on the block while you’re out hiking, or whatever it is you cool kids do these days.
As an alternative, use a key.
MINI Convertible – Rain Warner – £1,620. (Already Included in Nav System XL pack)
This handy gadget tells you when it’s about to rain if you have your roof down. For £1,620, I think I’ll just look up.
Tesla Model S/X Bioweapon Defence Mode – £2600
For all your end of the world preparation needs.
To be fair, air pollution is and will continue to be an issue. Tesla have created a system which cleans the air within the vehicle (as well as the outside air??) keeping you safe from those pesky pollutants. Great for traffic jams in the middle of cities but it feels a little superfluous if a bio-attack does occur. Do you just live in your car and hope you have enough rations so you never have to step out? Or do you just give yourself an extra week or two to live while the rest of us slowly suffocate?
Now I’m starting to worry about bio-attacks, so let’s move on to the next one.
Rolls Royce Phantom Cool Bag – £4000
If I have to explain this one to you then I’ve already lost.
Range Rover SV Autobiography Event Seating – £5,900
On the one hand, this is an interesting idea. If you make a habit of travelling in muddy fields to go see live bands or enjoy going to food festivals, of course you’ll want somewhere to sit. And where better than the car you’ve spent upwards of £132,800? Why not splash out another £5,900 for a couple chairs at the end of your car for an easy place to park yourself?
Because you can buy a couple chairs for £20 each and save yourself a whole lot of cash.
Better yet, just sit on the lip of the boot like everyone else. That’s free.
Audi Bang & Olufsen speakers – £5,565
For those of you who love an Audi, but just can’t stand being able to hear anything other than music when driving. Listening to your spouse on a road trip? Hell no. Get yourself 19 speakers, each with their own amplifier to make sure everyone knows not to speak to you while you’re behind the wheel.
Rolls-royce starlight headliner – £12,350
Similar to the Vauxhall Adam headliner earlier in the post, only about 36x the price. Granted, if you’re driving around in a Rolls-Royce I guess it’s unlikely that you’re actually driving. But for the sake of price…how about you just look out the window at the actual stars?
Aston Martin Jaeger-Le Coultre Amvox2 DB2 Transponder Watch – £12,426
This is for all you James Bond fans out there.
If you want to look super slick fiddling with your watch to open your doors without the use of your keys (which are still essential to actually driving the car) then this is the watch for you. It also has a “find me” function, where the headlights turn on for a few seconds so even the most forgetful of Bonds will be able to find their car.
Designed purely for the die-hard “super secret spy” fans.
Bentley Bentayga SUV Fishing Kit – £80,000
An £80,000 fully branded fishing kit for all you keen anglers out there. Granted, fishing kit can be super expensive and as a layman in the world of fishing, I couldn’t tell you whether it was a high calibre rod or not, but at £80,000 I would want it to be the pinnacle of equipment or my money back.
Bentley Bentayga SUV Mulliner tourbillion clock – £117,000
Yep. That’s right. £117,000 for a clock on your dashboard.
I wanted to research what was so special about this thing, because that amount of cash is absurd. Basically, the thing is made from solid gold (white or rose, dealer’s choice) with mother-of-pearl or black ebony face, with 8 diamond indexes. Hell. Why not 12? It’s a clock after all, right?
But if you’re happy to shell out £80k on a fishing rod then why not £117k on a clock, right?
Bugatti Veyron Carbon Finish – $300,000
Essentially, you’re paying 300k for them not to paint your car and give it a bit of a gloss instead.
Although some of these optional extras may seem a little extreme, and some you may be interested in purchasing for yourself, it’s important to keep in mind that a lot of optional extras tend to push up your insurance – hell, even adding in a satnav can push it up by 14%. If you go for safety features, that can bring it down – for example parking sensors can bring it down by 11%.